Thursday, August 25, 2011

Gone Sailing

I have fallen into a blah zone lately. I feel agitation, anger, impatience, and frustration bubbling up lately. I guess this is what they call "the blues". I tried analyzing and picking it apart to know what is up, but today, I'm throwing the towel in and just letting these emotions be. The antidote I've conjured up is to drown the negativity with massive doses of appreciation for the beautiful things that have gone right and are going right.

Last Sunday was my first time ever on a sailboat and prior to being on one, I never really understood the concept of sailing. I know the idea of it just sounded cool and expensive, almost like an experience exclusive to wealthy people or people who happen to know wealthy people.

It was the perfect day to be out sailing on Lake Tahoe. We left the dock a little after 2PM with twenty other strangers. I will push myself over to the brink of a side story.. Although Living Social deals can be awesome, it takes away from the intimacy of the experience if you're within five inches all around of complete strangers. The plus, if you can call it that, is bottomless Chardonnays (well, they serve organic apple juice in boxes, too).

Nonetheless, sailing was a great experience, non-private charter or otherwise. When the winds kicked up, the captain killed the motor of the boat, and all you can hear is the water splashing against the side of the boat. Like paper boats, we drifted with the wind while sunshine poured from everywhere. It was beautiful.

It is no secret that getting along with the world and its inhabitants can be difficult. I embrace that reality. From this experience, I am learning that it is sometimes a superhuman effort to be loving, but I know that no matter how hard I resist, that is the only real way a life of depth and joy is possible. I can choose to sail alone. But captains always need their mates, don't they? Instead, I shift my selfish perspective of suffering the company of strangers to enjoying the grandeur and bigness of the world with fellow travelers.

And in this weird time, the one thing I will credit myself for is that I am choosing to hike the steep uphill even though I can very well turn around.

And so I humbly pray for love in chunks bigger than myself.


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