Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Running on Empty
I can name a few things I'm natural at. Running isn't one of them.
I told myself I'd train myself to run, not just for Ultimate Frisbee, but because running is the possibly most daunting thing to me next to doing math in my head. The mere idea of it bores me and exhausts me.
I am not a Sanskrit scholar but this is the simplistic way I interpret samskara - all repetitive actions and thoughts, whether conscious or unconscious, lead to the formation of grooves in our brain, i.e. habits, patterns, and conditioning. The more we succumb to such actions and thoughts, the deeper they are imprinted in our psyche. However, they can be undone, once brought into consciousness, of course, and once we make decisions to reverse them. Nothing is permanent.
My run tonight was awful at best. But I know (because I've proven this in the past) that if I train my mind and my body to get accustomed to this new activity, I will eventually get better at it. The most difficult thing is just telling the artfully manipulative mind to shut the f up. Oh forbearance, be with me tomorrow.
And maybe tomorrow I should try running at the Marina and not on a hill.
On a different note, the rodeo last night was horrific. I wince and cringe at the sight of such beautiful creatures being objectified. It was filthy, cheap entertainment at the expense and pain of fellow living beings. It was utterly heartbreaking. I will never go to one ever again.